I've now been a mum to baby Cody for exactly 2 months. The toughest weeks are over and I am finally feeling more like my old pre-baby self with a few minor differences. I'll list just a few of these differences that basically sum up what motherhood is to me.
Motherhood is
getting to know what being really exhausted is. I heard other parents talk about it and I thought I knew what it felt like but I now know that the level of exhaustion I experienced in the first 4 weeks of motherhood are definitely not what I had imagined B.C. (before Cody!)
Motherhood is
Waking up by a crying baby 2 to 3 times a night for an hour to an hour and a half long feeds.
Motherhood is
never taking a shower in a room alone. Baby is always there just in case he starts crying which he obviously will since how long can you look at toiletries before you get bored? I am always making sure to take a shower daily even if it means leaving bubs crying for 5 minutes. This is the only me time I sometimes get in a day and I always feel better when I am fresh and clean.
Motherhood is
being pooped on while changing nappies.
Motherhood is
being peed on while changing nappies. Are you seeing a trend here?
Motherhood is
being barfed on but not taking a shower until the day after.
Motherhood is
leaking from everywhere all the time.
Motherhood is
not having breakfast until 11 am even though you've been away since 5:30 am.
Motherhood is
looking at your destroyed body: saggy belly, stretch marks, leaking boobs and all; and still be amazed of what your body has achieved. I built a tiny perfect human being. At the same time feel sad that it will take me ages to go back to what I looked B.C. I know it will take time but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel a bit sad about it.
Motherhood is
feeling guilty that your body is not producing enough milk to feed your little one so you go to countless doctor and lactation consultant visits where strangers prod push and pull on your breasts to try and show you how you should do it.
Motherhood is
knowing that breast is best but really knowing that a fed baby is best. I now decided to stop feeling guilty and I'm enjoying symbiosis of breast and formula feeding. Bubba Cody is not going hungry anymore and I'm not shedding more tears on this.
Motherhood is
being scared knowing that you have a little human being that is completely dependent on you for a very long time, possibly for all your life.
Motherhood is
not having alone time with my husband anymore apart from a few stolen hours here and there, most of which spent speaking about the baby, sleeping or cleaning the house that seems to have been the point of origin of an earthquake.
Motherhood is
taking around 2 to 3 hours to be able to get ready to go out of home.
Motherhood is
seeing the baby smile at you and forgetting the tough times.
Motherhood is
cuddling your bubs those extra 5 minutes before puttig him in his bed.
Motherhood is
falling in love with this little being a little bit extra everyday and not believing how this is possible but it just keeps happening everyday.
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